The problem of men.

The other day at work, I admitted a patient from Malta. This happens frequently in London--getting patients from all over Europe & UAE. Most of them are private patients, meaning the families fork out their own, hard cash for the health care (sound familiar?). Sometimes, the patient's country will pay, because they know they don't have the services available (i.e. pediatric cardiac surgery) & apparently feel guilty. Now....that's all very interesting & all, but the best part of the transfer was the male nurse accompanying this baby. He was dreamy. Dark hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, young & hip, as you would be if you were from a mediterranean country. I thought he was the baby's father until he started telling me that the foley size was 6 and the morphine was running at 30 mcg/kg/hr! As the team was finishing handover, he looks deeply into my eyes & asks if I have any other questions....I'm thinking, "ya, what's your phone number!!"

Coinciding with all this, the CICU fellow, who is male & gay, was ALSO checking this man out. This started a heated debate on whether this nurse was gay or straight. The fellow SWORE he was on HIS team. I was left confused, as I often am in this country. Now, I don't want you to worry that we were gawking & not paying any attention to the frail, sick baby in the bed. I am a great multi-tasker & rest assured, the patient was very well taken care of.

Back to the dilemma. Gay or straight. I have no idea around here! In the States, it's pretty easy to figure out. Here, the lines are all blurred. Let me explain. Straight men in Europe: wear nice, designer, tight-fitting clothing & have good fashion sense; wear cologne...a lot of it (sometimes you can smell them a block away); wear pink (quite popular with the posh boys); drink tea & cocktails; go to the theatre; have good manners; have nice hands/fingernails; listen to pop music (i.e. madonna); wear hair product...again, a lot of it; eat food such as sushi, tapas & drink nice wine. I know these are all generalizations, but let me tell you, unless they are prancing down the street with a rainbow flag in their hands, it is difficult to tell sometimes!!! I'm not complaining by any means, coming from the redneck town of Troy, Montana, I FULLY appreciate a man who bathes, smells & looks nice & has good taste. I just need to know who I can flirt with! I still have no idea how the doctor knew that nurse was gay. Mystery unsolved.